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MomneyCare 3: The Awakening

My mom is back, and I have a change of heart. And brain.

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MomneyCare Episode Two

It’s 2016. Romney has won the 2012 election, and my mom and I make a re-elect Romney/Ryan campaign commercial.

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New Republican Birth-control Method Revealed!

“Legitimate Rape” prevents most pregnancies.

Missouri Representative Todd Akin (R) today revealed the long-practiced but little discussed Republican birth-control method of forcible or “legitimate” rape.

“A woman’s baby-making parts just shut down during a rape,” explained Akin, “and so the rapist’s sperm can’t figure out where to go, or something like that, I guess.” When asked to explain how this new method could be effective when practiced in consensual or married sexual relationships, Akin smiled and said, “Trust me, anytime a Republican has sex with a woman it is legitimately a rape. If it wasn’t for forcible rape we’d never have sex at all!”  Akin added, “You see that ‘R’ following my name?  That ain’t for Republican!”

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A Message to Seniors from Mitt Romney

My mom doesn’t buy the “Romney-will-save-Medicare” pitch.

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The Republican Pain Game

Hey, it’s time to play “Who Do Republicans Support?  First, pick an issue – any issue. Ask yourself, “Which side of this issue will cause the greatest harm to the greatest number of people?” In every case, without fail, you will have correctly identified the Republican position. You win! For example, same-sex marriage has been proved to cause zero harm to people, institutions, children or society — and therefore Republicans oppose it, causing denial of civil rights, heartbreak and damage to millions of individuals and families across the country!
Works every time! Healthcare? War? Gun control? Contraception? Medical marijuana? Death with Dignity? Try it, pick an issue, ANY issue! (Alternative winning strategy: Which side has the most money?)

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The Citizens You Knighted

Sir Charles and Sir David of Koch

Congratulations, Supreme Court, for ceding our democracy to repressive aristocratic rule by a few rich, powerful elites. The Koch brothers, Sheldon Adelson, Harold Hamm and other billionaires of their corporatist ilk are truly the Citizens You Knighted!

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